Just fill in your name and a local suburb or neighborhood, and you've got an instant series of ridiculous letters from your listeners, complete with your hilarious and off-the-wall advice. After you've run this bit a few times, don't be surprised if you start getting REAL letters from your listeners. Perhaps you could offer a prize for real letters you read on the air.

This material was used as a regular basis on the "Dwork & Heidi" morning show on KQRS in Minneapolis. The result was the highest ratings the station had in 6 years! Your mileage may vary.

Virtually all of the top 20 markets have used this material...and over 600 copies have been sold.

Sample Scripts:

Dear __________: I have a very low fertility threshold. I recently became pregnant from listening to your radio show. What should I do now? A mother-to-be in __________ (your town).

Dear M.T.B.: And here I thought my radio show was impregnable! I'm sorry but what you tell me seems inconceivable...unless, perhaps, I wasn't breathing through my diaphragm!

Dear __________: I know my boyfriend doesn't make a lot of money, but I think that it's wrong for him to ask me to chip in for gas when we go out. What do you think? Maria from __________ (nearby town or suburb)

Dear Maria: I'm on your side. I have never asked a date to chip in for gas. After all, it's hard enough to get them to pay for dinner!

Dear __________: My girlfriend is wonderful, except for one thing...she eats with her fingers. Should I discourage her, dump her, or forget about it? Disgusted in __________ (local suburb).

Dear Disgusted: You know, one third of the world eats with their fingers. Unfortunately, it's not this third. Try to make the most of it...and paint yourself to look like a chicken!

Dear_________: When my husband and I were married, he was a budding law student. He passed the bar, but now he never works on any cases. My dreams of living in the upper class have turned to dust. What should I do? -Sad in ___________(local not too affluent area)

Dear Sad,

Well, it's like I've always said. Don't marry a lawyer until you've seen his briefs. A friend of mine passed the bar seven years ago...and he hasn't passed one since. His toughest case was 24 cans of Miller.

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